You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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