She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
FUCK WHALES
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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