i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize