i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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