Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
