All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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