That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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