Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
