Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
