I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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