I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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