Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
50% drunk capacity currently
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize