Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
