Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
