walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
