If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
