Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize