she was so not down for the gang bang
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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