Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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