Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy