i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away