This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you