ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best