I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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