Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Watching her eat just hurts me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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