Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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