so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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