Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
