Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
