It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
