I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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