Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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