We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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