So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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