lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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