let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
