if you like me you must not know who I am
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
