mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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