dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
