Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
