I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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