Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
