11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize