Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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