i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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