dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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