i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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