So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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