when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
