Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
