Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
