I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
