Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize