She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
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He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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