I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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