Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
