I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
