You're my little dorito
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
