Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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